Screw The Labradors

My quest is at an end. There will be no cuddly Labrador puppy for Twisty. There is not, it turns out, a single breathing specimen to be had anywhere in the southern United States. All the decent litters have been spoken for by people who have patiently endured months and months on waiting lists. Stupid patient people. I hate them.

After 3 solid days--and by solid days, I mean 9 hours with only 45 minutes for lunch and 45 minutes for martinis and 45 more minutes for idle loafing--of searching, I was only able to turn up one possible litter. This was at a gun dog kennel. Their website contained the headline "BUSH CHENEY 04 HOORAY WE FLUSHED THE JOHNS."

I'm switching to Italian Spumonis.