Twisty's Shoe Blog

As worn by 15th century elves, £130 at Plantagenet Shoes

Let it not be said of Twisty that she does not enjoy the odd bag or occasional pair of shoes. Thus, we turn to the shoe blogs. Shoeblogging, in which a blogger posts photos of shoes along with useful commentary on same, such as "these shoes are fuckin' ugly!" is a sport we endorse. Amazingly, there are hardly any shoe blogs!

Let us begin with the industry standard, Manolo's Shoe Blog. Manolo has good taste in footwear, is a comic genius, and as a bonus, blogs in a fake Italian accent. Appreciation for acuity in fake Italian accentry ensues when you read the comments, wherein readers feel compelled to mimic Manolo, and in so doing, fall on their asses. More entertaining than even the shoe criticism is Manolo's artful celebrity mocking. In today's post, for example, Manolo features the photo below, titled "My Name Is Tommy And I Have A Torch" and captioned "Manolo says, Tom Cruise: one of the special people."



Then there's Kiss Me Stace blogger Designer Ella, who manages to find beauty even in affordable shoes:

"Kitty" by Gabriella Rocha, $18.90 at Zappos.com

Though sincere, Designer Ella is not always up to the little daily challenges of spelling, grammar, and syntax. Unfortunately this casts a shadow over her general perspicacity, and makes it difficult to credit such remarkable statements as "sneakers are not shoes." But one admires her steadfastness and dedication.

Finally, "the foremost [according to her website] shoe connoisseur on the scene today, author and TV personality" Miss Meghan blogs in the voice of a flighty shopgirl rhapsodizing to gay friends who can't get dates, and has such terrible taste in shoes she should probably be put in a home. That she has a shoe book coming out bodes ill for shoe-book-buying cognoscenti, since she has little interest in the conventions of written English. Her book, The Perfect Fit: What Your Shoes Say About You, "reveals a woman's true sole [sic] with insightful quizzes and homework."

Meanwhile, here is an example of the footwear found in a typical Miss Meghan-endorsed shoe shop. Upon this example I base my recommendation that her shoe blog be used for jeering or guffawing purposes only.



If you will excuse my harsh language, Gaspard Yurkievich's hoosierweight Wal-Mart Mama scrunchy boots with sequined cuffs could only be accessorized by a screaming toddler in a dirty diaper and an oversized sweatshirt reading "My Other Car Is A Broomstick."

Neither can I get behind Miss Meghan's breathlessly approbatory remarks on this, "THE bag for spring":



Over which bag, she emotes, "editors, marc jacobs aficionados and style mavens are already salivating." It looks like something you'd find stuck to the underside of a table in a bowling alley.

Twisty says, the shoeblogs, they are the excellent entertainment.