California Pizza Kitchen Frozen Pepperoni, Sausage & Mushroom

It is more trouble to make a frozen pizza than it is to make a regular pizza. When you pull it out of the plastic, you have to chip off the pepperoni and rearrange it so that it isn't all in one big blob off to one side. You have to chop onion. You have to grate parmesan. You have to throw out a bunch of cardboard.

Frozen pizza is always soggy in the middle and burnt on the edges.

Frozen pizza is gross. You will be full of self-loathing for allowing yourself to have sunk so low as to be eating a gross frozen pizza.

If you make a regular pizza, you can be full of self-esteem!

Mediocre BBQ Pork Haunch, Central Market

I ate this haunch while watching a segment on CNN where they showed Flash movies from the internet depicting John Kerry and John Edwards making out and patting each others' hineys. "Only on the Internet!" exclaimed CNN, shaking its head. "You couldn't put this on TV!"

Blueberries

Fortunately, in nature, no edible food is actually blue.

Celebese Kalossi Haff-Caff from the C-1000

I just bought some square dishes. Everything square, except the cups. Because of the way physics interacts with the human mouth, cups have to be cylindrical.

Cup design could really go wild if humans had trunks. Think about it.

Sesame Soba Noodle With Grilled Steak

Why do people universally eat soba noodles with chopsticks? Still, there it is.

Smoked Ham, Tillamook Extra Sharp Cheddar, Wasa Crisp'n'Lite 7-Grain Crackerbread

I compare lots of food to styrofoam--grocery store bread, certain beefsteak tomatoes, anything made by Pepperidge Farm, etc--and generally the remark is meant to malign and disparage. But when I say that Wasa Crisp' n' Lite 7-Grain Crackerbread is like styrofoam, I mean it inhabits the absolute stratosphere of styrofoaminess! This is an extremely satisfying cracker. Styrofoam-wise, it leaves all other foods in the dust.