Bay's English Muffin (Sourdough)

Breakfast is always more fun with the inquisitive, jolly Cantaloupe People.

The sourdough version of the Bay's English Muffin is indistinguishable from the regulardough version.

Clean Out The Fridge Plate

Buttered saffron rice, sesame snap peas, "Southwestern" stir-fried mixed veg.

Kid yourself that you can revive the flagging spirits of all the despondent flora in your refrigerator by masking them with ingredients from your Assertive Seasonings of the World Cabinet. Liberally douse with chipotle powder, soy sauce, cumin, MSG, that last little sprouted clove of garlic. Flame with cognac. Garnish with wilted parsely. Serve. Muse, with regret, that you should have gone out for dinner.

Food Group Plate

Curried tuna salad, penne with sundried tomatoes et. al., assorted fruit

This accomodating assemblage made as adequate a lunch as anything I'd lunched on all day, and by adequate I mean, of course, supadupa.

I ate this while reading a summons to appear before St. Louis Circuit Court.

So Many Food Groups >>

Chicken Salad Sandwich

With grapes, toasted pecans, and walnut mayonnaise on a toothsome hunk of pain francais

This dish was inspired by a commercial for Arby's advertising their new Market Fresh Chicken Salad Sandwich. I've never eaten one, and I hope I never do. Their standards are appallingly low. The roast beef they use in their Beef'n'Cheddar Sandwich has the consistency of liver tissue samples from a pickled cadaver. Their talking oven mitt is a knob.

Arby's is not owned by a guy named Arby, but by Triarc Restaurant Group.

Triarc also owns T.J. Cinnamons [sic], Home of the Original Cinnamon Roll. There is no T.J. Cinnamons, either. Among archaeologists and their splinter discipline, cinnamonbunnologists, there rages a furious debate as to whether T.J. Cinnamons' cinnamon roll is actually the "original" cinnamon roll, or whether the species actually evolved prior to 1986. We may never know the truth.

Leftover Food Group Plate

Curried tuna salad, penne with sundried tomato and basil, melon

Of a Sunday eve, I like to go a-prancing into the kitchen, throw open the fridge with a glad cry, extract from Tupperware containers the delicous hearty salads I made yesterday (which are now even more delicious since they've had all night to macerate in their previous deliciousness), arrange them on a plate in alluring mounds, and push them into my face. Total prep time: 2 minutes.